I love Spring Break

It's Saturday and the school is on Spring break next week, so I will have a bit of a vacation. It's nice to be so relaxed. I love having free time. I'm definitely not a workaholic, though I do enjoy teaching. My students are so kind and they really want to learn. It's so exciting to help them prepare to meet goals and learn skills that will make their lives here much better. They also treat each other like family. It's a community. Let me give an example. We had class on Ash Wednesday. There were 9 students there and all of them except 2 left early to go to the Catholic church 1/2 a block away. The two students and I enjoyed infomal class for the last 20 minutes. The next evening one of the two faithful students told me about what happened after class. She and the other woman who stayed were walking to her car in the parking lot. It was dark and the parking lot was empty. They saw that there was a truck parked next to her car. As they drew closer, they saw that there was a man in the truck. The truck's door opened and the man stepped out. The two women were quite scared. The man approached them and suddenly they recognized him as one of their classmates. He had brought ashes from the church and carried them in his hand to mark their forheads with a cross. She laughed as she told me the story.

What plans do I have for the break? Enjoy my free time by watching movies, relaxing, reading, shopping.

No, I haven't abandonned this journal

I just finished (at 2:40 this afternoon) the last paperwork for Winter Quarter 2005 and I feel like celebrating. This week was the first week of classes for Spring Quarter 2005. Three weeks ago I was let go from the other job because the registration has been going down. They didn’t have enough students to offer me any hours. This week I was substituting for my friend who is still teaching for them. She is the one who gave them my name and helped me get the job. Things have been busy, stressful and I’ve been bordering on depressed. It showed in being very negative and grumpy at home. Every little thing felt like a big problem and took a lot of energy and made me anxious. My mom actually told me that I had been acting miserable for a while. I was trying to deal with things in my own strength and not setting my mind and my hope in God. I’ve barely been keeping up with my Bible study and kind of just going through the motions.

Last weekend my aunt, uncle, and cousins came for a visit. My oldest cousin, who got married a few weeks after I returned from Korea, had a baby 8 months ago. None of us here in Washington have seen him. He is my grandfather’s first great-grandchild. We were all thrilled to see him and he is a wonderful, easy-going baby with strawberry blond hair and the biggest, brightest blue eyes you can imagine. It was also my aunt’s birthday and we had a great time as a family. I hadn’t seen my cousins at all since the wedding in September 2003. We went to a PBR (Professional Bull Riding) show in Tacoma. It was a lot of fun. That weekend was the only truly enjoyable thing that I can remember in the last month.

My sister and her husband are really getting serious about getting up here soon. They are actually starting to look at house listings. It also looks like they will bring the youngest kid with them. She is 14 or 15 years old. My brother-in-law had two children with his first wife. They have been married for 5 years and don’t have any children together. They don’t want any more children. The two girls have been living with their mother, but there have been a lot of problems lately. Their mother has been having terrible fights with her live-in boyfriend.

February: Valentine's Day, Birthday, and Super Bowl

This has been a great weekend. I had a good meeting with my supervisor from the community college to start getting ready for what needs to be finished for the end of the quarter which is in the middle of March. Yes, just over a month away. It is really comforting, though, to start getting ready now because I know that things will get hectic and overwhelming if I don’t think ahead and keep up. So far I’ve been doing well with that.

My birthday is this month. I took some of my first paychecks and bought myself a piece of jewelry. There was a one-day sale at the store and I got a really good deal. The pendant was already 50% off and then the one-day sale added another 20% discount. It’s a fairly large, square, peridot with lots of facets so the light really dances and makes it brilliant. Peridot is my current favorite gemstone other than amethyst. Of course, amethyst is my birthstone. I am wearing the pendant right now and I really love how it looks. The chain is at just the right length , so it is sitting level with my collar-bone which is very flattering. It makes a lovely set with the peridot earrings that I have and a silver and green turquoise ring that I have.

Hey, if you don’t have a special someone to buy you jewelry, then you have to buy it for yourself. Seriously, ladies. If you can, you deserve it. Don’t go overboard, of course; be responsible. But if you like pretty jewelry, don’t wait until some man decides to buy one for you. I also consider the pendant a consolation gift for not having any valentine to look forward to. I don’t get as bothered by this holiday as I used to. It used to be a difficult and painful reminder of something I felt was missing. I was alone, left out in the cold. I no longer feel incomplete, but it is still a reminder of a dream that I have left behind. I have not re-opened a membership at eHharmony and I think it unlikely that I will do so. I did get slightly snippy when someone at church suggested that I go to the sweetheart dinner. He just wanted to sell a ticket and raise more money. There is still a little bit of a nerve there, but it does not hurt nearly the way that it used to years ago.

Our Super Bowl menu is barbecued beef sandwiches, potato salad, and jalepeno poppers. We have a great recipe for simple and relatively light jalepeno poppers. The filling is low-fat cream cheese with a little bit of low-fat cheddar and some fat-free mayonnaise. You cut the peppers in half lengthwise and spoon out all the seeds. Now you can put the filling into each half. Then you dip the side with the filling into egg-white and then into a small bowl of crushed corn flakes. So, just the top half is “breaded”, and the corn flakes are really crunchy. Then you bake them at 375 degrees for 25-30 minutes. They are not deep-fried, which cuts a lot of fat. They are pretty healthy and taste great! We love them!

Hello Again

This month has been hectic, exciting, scary, exhausting, and an adventure. Time has flown and I have barely had time to keep up with laundry, e-mail, and anything oustide of work. I think I'm starting to breathe a little bit more now and things are settling into a smoother rhythm. The students are mostly great and I am enjoying working with them. One school has mostly Korean students and the other is all Spanish speaking students. The class that I have enjoyed the most so far is the integrated skills class (that means reading, writing, speaking and listening) based on the theme of stories and storytelling. We started with folktales, then biography/autobiography and finally some drama. I think I'll read one story for an audioblogger entry. Now just to choose. Now it's the weekend. Well, I have a meeting tomorrow (Friday) and some planning to do and assignment grades to record. I can at least do a lot of that at home and be relaxed. An old college friend that I haven't seen in many years will come and visit me on Saturday. That is exciting. I'll be sure and write about it. I think I'm starting to get settled again and I'm finding time for things, like keeping this journal.

First Week Jitters

Well, the first week of my first term at both schools was chaotic, hectic, exciting, and the lessons went pretty well. I knew the beginning of the term at two new schools was going to be crazy and it was. Overall, though, it went really well and better than I expected in some ways. The big challenges were classroom changes (due to buildings with no heat), a lot of new students strolling through the door (there’s continuous enrollment at the community college site), and last minute schedule changes (a welcome assembly lunch that nobody told me was rescheduled and I walked to the opposite side of campus with my students to find that there was nobody there and nothing happening that day). There was also great news. My community college class is now more than full and they hired a Teaching Assistant for me. She will be able to handle all the registration headaches when any other new students come in. There is a limit, however, of 32 students “regularly attending” and after that we will have to start a waiting list. That will work well, though, because it will encourage everyone to attend class; I can tell them that if they miss too many classes in a row that there are people waiting to take their spot in the class. I met my TA yesterday and she hasn’t had experience teaching but she is really a quick learner; I helped my supervisor train her to do registration and intake testing. She seems like a natural and I know that the students will love her. I’ve never had a TA before, so it will be a learning experience for me. I have to find the best way to delegate and communicate lesson plans and what I want her to do. If the class attendance stays high, it will be wonderful to have her help me monitor the students when they are practicing conversation in pairs. It takes a long time for one person to get around to 15 or 16 pairs and they get bored or you can’t make it around to everyone and the students don’t get the attention or help that they deserve.

Thursday evening was really great. I felt like it was my birthday and I was just giddy like a little girl. First of all, a friend left a funny and really nice message for me on voicemail. I checked it right after I was finished with my first job and was getting ready to go to the community college class. It cracked me up. Then I called Mom and found out that the community college class was cancelled due to expected snow and ice that evening. As if that wasn’t enough, she told me that the community college had hired a TA for me. I wasn’t expecting that either. I was really exhausted after the first week of classes and to be able to go home early and know that next week I would have someone to help me deal with registration and stuff was amazing and wonderful. It all came just like a big rush of wonderful gifts. Then my parents decided that we would all go out to dinner. They usually have a meeting that night, but due to the weather reports their meeting had been cancelled just like my class. It felt like a big surprise party celebration. I was overjoyed and had a great time relaxing. I caught up on some sleep the next morning.

Last night I had a hard time getting to sleep. I ended up doing a couple of loads of laundry and watched Samurai X, an anime movie, on Cable. It was very beautiful to look at, but the tone was sad. The love story was sweet but the characters were so sullen and full of grief, regret and suffering. Overall, I don’t highly recommend it. I was having trouble settling down because so many things were rattling around in my brain, details for next week’s classes and what not. I ended up making a list and then my mind could shut down because I knew that I wouldn’t forget any thing that I wanted/needed to do. It will be easier next week, anyway. The foundations have been laid and the students and I are oriented to classrooms, schedule, and each other.

Ready for the New Year

Lots of work has been done. But I still found time on Monday to watch nearly 5 hours of Return of the King: Extended Edition. All I can say about that trilogy is,"Amazing." I got the ROTK DVD for Christmas from my parents. It was the only thing that I wanted. They were also generous and got me a few things on top of that. It was more than I expected. I was surprised by a beautiful rubber stamp of large poppies and shimmery, pearlized watercolor pigments to go with it.

Ok, what work has been accomplished? Well, I have my class syllabi finished and that feels so good. I am getting excited about the beginning of classes. Before this week I was a little bit terrified about the first day. I had a horrible time falling to sleep one night, sometime before Christmas, because I was so nervous and all the things I had to do and questions were spinning in my head. Mom, in a wise moment, told me that I should remember that I am not doing this alone and that God would not have given me more than I could handle. I woke up and she had printed out some scriptures on cards and taped them in my room and in my bathroom.
Here are a couple of them.
Romans 8:15 For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received a spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

My sister told us that she and her husband should be moving to Washington sometime in the fall of 2005. I am so excited and I will prepare to move out of the house. I am already thinking about what would be a good location. I don't know if I’ll move out by myself or try and share an apartment with someone. We’ll see. Mom is especially pleased. She mentioned twice today how great it will be to have Jan and Kevin living locally. She was imagining next year’s holidays with all of us together.

We had split pea soup tonight that was made with the bone of the ham and the last of the leftover meat. Oh, so good. We had asiago cheese bread from Safeway, toasted up to go with the soup. Perfect combination and finished off with Pino Grigio, a white wine. I love split pea soup. Except when I was a kid and would throw a fit each year at Maundy Thursday Soup Supper at church because it was always split pea soup. I didn’t like it until I tried it again sometime in college. Now I love it. Sorry about the fits, Mom. Funny how tastes change.

The After Christmas Rush

I worked my last shift at the Lane Bryant today. Of course, it was quite busy being the day after Christmas, but that made the time fly. There were lots of us working so it wasn’t overwhelming and went smoothly. I had to get to the mall two-and-a-half hours before my shift started because Mom and Dad had to be at church early. My shift started at 11:00 am, around the time that their service would be ending. So I brought some prep materials with me and sat in the foodcourt getting some things ready for next Monday, the start of classes. I also did some shopping since it was the last day for my employee discount and they are having a great sale. I spent some Christmas money that Grandpa gave me and put the rest on my card. I bought bras, a pair of boot-cut jeans, and a couple of shirts. Many of my coworkers were there so I got to say goodbye to them. Of course I will see them when I go in as a customer later. I sure won’t need new clothes for a while, though. The “girls” that work there work hard but treat each other like family and know how to have fun while working.

I didn't have time to eat the ham sandwich I had made in case I got a 15-minute break and could eat. After my purse and all my bags had been looked through (routine after each shift to prevent employee theft) and I had started walking to the door, I realized that I had left the sandwich in the fridge in the break room. I was really hungry, too. I went to the threshold of the store and my manager saw me. I told her that I had forgotten my sandwich. She was the same one who had just looked through all my stuff and didn't really want to do it again. She said, "Let me go back and get it." and returned quickly. Then I took all my stuff out to the parking lot to find Dad. I didn't see him right away and he told me that he'd be in front. I put my bags on top of a truck and got my phone out to call him. He doesn't usually pick me up and he can get impatient. But before I could hit the speed dial, there he was. I quickly grabbed bags and trotted to the car with all my stuff, except for the sandwich. I left the small bag with the sandwich on the hood of that truck in the parking lot. I realized it when we were half-way home. At first I was really disappointed, but then we laughed. He said that mall security would probably have dogs sniff it for drugs or explosives and call the police, who would send it to be tested for biological or chemical weapons. "It might be on the news tonight" he smirked. "Oh, yeah. Mall closed after suspicious ham sandwich with swiss cheese and dijon mustard was found left in the parking lot. No suspects have been identified yet."

When I got home I relaxed, watching a movie (Bulletproof Monk) with Dad. It was silly story but fun. I also found a treasure on the Sundance channel, La Jetee. It’s an experimental French short film that inspired the movie 12 Monkeys. I watched it while I taped it. Even though it's just half-an-hour long, I was so tired that I kind of dozed a couple of times. I have read about the movie, but have never seen it or thought that I would get the chance. The most interesting thing is that it is all still shots. Sometimes there is some camera movement to zoom in on part of a photo, but the pictures do not move. It sounds like it could be stilted and perhaps kind of boring, but it’s not. There is still a sense of movement in some parts, especially the quick succession of photos at the end of the man running. After seeing the original inspiration, I know where Terry Gilliam, who directed 12 Monkeys, got the idea for the strange optical gear that the “scientists” or “doctors” wear when they examine the man. Terry took it a lot farther, though, and it worked really well in 12 Monkeys. As I write this, a furry tabby, Scruffy, the neighbor’s cat, is laying across my arms. It makes it a little hard to write, but she keeps my arms warm.

Christmas Eve

My Favorite Things About Christmas
1. God, out of love, humbled himself to take human form and live with us. Immanuel: God With Us.
2. Lights and candles everywhere
3. Family and friends getting together
4. Christmas Music
5. The smell (and taste) of pumpkin pie
6. Eggnog Latte
7. The Charlie Brown Christmas Special
8. The movie, A Christmas Story - not to be confused with A Christmas Carol. If you’ve seen it, you know what I mean. I hope you have seen it.

I know it should be 5 or 10 to be an ideal number, but this is everything I wanted to include and there is nothing else that I really want to add.

This year is a rather low-key but nice Christmas. We are going up to spend the day with Grandpa like we did on Thanksgiving. The dinner will be much simpler, though. Here is the menu: Ham, scalloped potatoes, salad, baby brusselsprouts, Pillsbury crescent rolls, and pumpkin pie. I know, I know, but we actually like brusselsprouts.

I’m not going to the midnight service at my parent’s church, though. (No, I don’t go to the same church as my parents. I have attended occasional holiday services with them at their church, though.) I closed at Lane Bryant twice this week and things have been busy. I just don’t have the energy to do it. I went last year and enjoyed it, even though it is terribly long. My church has an earlier service, at 7:00 and I’ll go there and spend the rest of the evening relaxing quietly alone with beautiful Christmas music and candles. If I can’t get my parents to watch the Charlie Brown special with me this afternoon, then I’ll watch it before I start the music.

There was debate about when to open our presents this year. Because we want to get on the road quickly so that the ham can get in the oven in time for an early dinner we thought tonight might be a good time. I want to sleep a little later and keep the morning simple. We ended up deciding to wait until tomorrow night after we have returned from Grandpa’s. That sounded best. We won’t be overtired and we can just have some quiet, relaxed time opening a few gifts after everything is over. There are very few presents, actually. I couldn’t even afford to buy any this year. I’m giving cards- and they still aren’t in the mail. I know, I’m bad. But a couple times when I was in Korea there were no presents from anyone, and it didn’t really matter. I don’t care much about that, except it is fun when you can take the time to plan special gifts and see people open them up. It is also great fun to be surprised with something wonderful that you never thought of.

I hope that you are having a Merry Christmas wherever you are, celebrating with people you love.

Progress Continues

Today was the pageant and it was so much fun. Everyone, especially the kids, did a great job. We in the "ladies’ aid" had a blast and got good laughs, too. One woman came up to me and said that we reminded her of a group of women in the church that she grew up in. One of ladies that played the part actually acts sort of like that in real life, except for the gossipy and slightly mean spirited part. She is just kind of a den mother sort of boss type, organizing and keeping everyone in line.

The Christmas cards are well under way. I’ve finished all the stamping and printed out the insert that I’ll glue in and use to write on. I put a verse on it. "Arise, shine for your light has come and the glory of the Lord rises upon you." (Isaiah 60:1) I chose a verse about light because the picture on the front of the card has 3 candles. Jesus also called himself "The Light of the World." I have decorative scissors that make a nice scalloped edge to the paper. I’m cutting out all the inserts with those scissors and I’m really happy with how it’s turning out. Now I just have to finish assembly, write on the cards, and address them. Ooh, there is plenty of work left.

I’m starting to get a cold, so I’m taking some Zinc stuff to help it go away fast and hopefully not turn into a full blown head and chest cold. I can’t afford that right now. There are too many important things happening right now and I need all the strength and energy I have. I told my head manager at Lane Bryant about my new jobs and that I didn’t want to be scheduled for any hours after December 26th. She was totally fine with that and very excited and supportive of my new opportunities. The people at the store have been really great to work with. Even though it has been stressful learning the retail job, I’m glad that I did it and it provided exactly what I needed right now. I’ll have even more fun whenever I shop there in the future.

A friend told me about one of the communities at MSN groups. It is called Christian Singles. It is not focused on dating and they actually don’t allow you to post "personal ad" messages. It is a place for fellowship, encouragement and friendship. Of course, some people meet and end up dating. But that is not the main focus. I really like it. I introduced myself and have been warmly welcomed. In fact, we are beginning to plan a meeting of members who live in the Pacific Northwest. The place and time is still to be determined, sometime in 2005 of course. I haven't joined eHarmony again and am less certain that I will. I have some matches still on hold while I figure out what I should do. It will probably a month before I can afford it, anyway. Even so, I find my interest and desire to go back to that form of matchmaking is lessening. It is pretty pressurized. I tried it for a year already. I think I may finally be finished with it.

Preparations

It’s been longer than usual between entries. Things have been pretty busy. We had an orientation/training meeting for new teachers at the community college. It was all about paperwork, record keeping, testing and registration of new students. Since these are off-site classes, most of the students won’t/can’t come to the main campus to register. There is also a continuous enrollment policy which allows students to enter the class anytime in the first 8 weeks. So the off-site instructors are responsible for intake testing and registration for all the new students who arrive at our site. I can have a teaching assistant to take care of that. Right now, there is not one available. I am free to recommend anyone (not a relative) whom I think would be a good candidate and give them my supervisor’s phone number. It was a 5 hour meeting and there was so much information and everything that my head was literally spinning when it was all over. I had also worked a 5 hour shift at the store that day and gone directly to campus for the meeting.

This morning I am resting and catching my breath. I’ve had some fun, too. I spent Tuesday afternoon window shopping and having coffee with an old friend from college. It was great. She doesn’t live very close, so I don’t see her often. She also has an unusual work schedule and it is hard to talk to her on the phone. She came out to Korea for her vacation during the summer of 2003 just a couple of months before I returned to the United States. It was so much fun to show her around. She has been to Europe several times, but that was her first time in Asia. I took her to all my favorite places- the green tea plantation at Boseung, Sosoewon garden. Then in Seoul we went to Gyungbok Palace and Insadong (a kind of traditionl art district with galleries, antique shops, tea houses, etc.) We also went to Pusan and explored for a weekend. It is the second largest city in Korea and is right on the coast on the far south of the peninsula. We went to a spa and to the beach.

The last three weeks there have also been rehearsals for The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, which my church is doing for our pageant during the service time next Sunday. This is the last week of rehearsals and it has been so fun. I'm playing one of the "Ladies' Aide Society" women in the church who gossips and is generally condescending and annoying. The story is a play within a play. The main character is trying to direct a Christmas pageant with a group of neglected kids who act like juvenile delinquents and scare all the other children from volunteering to play the parts in the pageant. It is a wonderful book and was made into a TV movie sometime in the 80's. At the end, it is really sweet and moving for all the silliness and laughs before the children start performing the "pageant".

I took some money from my paycheck and bought the paper and envelopes for my Christmas cards this year. I like to rubber stamp, so sometimes I make all my Christmas cards by hands. I’m keeping them simple. But the dye ink is taking forever to dry on the card stock which is incredibly non-absorbent. I printed the front of about 18 cards yesterday and there are still some spots that are not dry enough to fold and stack because they will smudge.

Ringing Off the Hook

Wow! Things still feel like they are going at a slightly manic pace. I had a really funny, often interrupted phone call with a friend on my cell phone. The house phone kept ringing. On top of that, something was strange with the connection and we were disconnected 3 times. I wanted to ignore the house-line, but the first call was from the community college that I’ve been playing phone tag with. So, I apologized and answered the phone. My friend could hear me as I made the appointment for an interview. Next time I was going to ignore it, but my friend heard the ring and said, "Just answer it." The next time she didn’t hear it because the cordless phone’s battery was starting to get low. I was annoyed and just ignoring the ringing. But then I heard the man that interviewed me last Wednesday leaving a message. I didn’t even have time to apologize to my friend. I left put the cell-phone down while she was in mid-sentence and hurriedly answered the phone. It was worth it because he offered me the job. I accepted and took town the date and time of the orientation meeting (this Thursday). I went back to my friend and told her what had happened. It was really great, because she was the one that prayed with me before I went to the interview. Today, she was there when I got the job. She could even sort of hear it. I thank God. It is obvious that He broke through the wall that I've come up against while trying to get a good teaching job. So many calls and applications ignored this last year. This is a wonderful answer to prayer.

So, I had to call and cancel the interview with the other community college because the classes would be at the same time. I am, however, going tomorrow to an early morning interview, 8:30 AM, for some daytime classes with international students through a community organization. I don't think it would be too hard to do both jobs. So, I have been working hard to get a lot done today. You know, the usual Monday chores. It was also kind of a celebration tonight because at BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) we had our monthly fellowship dinner. I baked pumpkin pie to take to the potluck. I always use the recipe on the back of the Libby’s can and it always turns out great- with a frozen prepared piecrust, of course.

Uncertainty

Don’t know why, perhaps because I’m waiting to see what news comes on Monday and I haven’t been able to make contact with the person from the other community college, I’ve been in a little bit of a funk. I meant to get the thank you card for the Wednesday interview out right away. I didn’t do it until this morning. I thought about sending an e-mail card, since he said that e-mail is the best way to contact him and it would be really fast. But that seemed really cheesy, so I didn’t. But why on earth did it take me so long to get that card out. It’s too late, but he’ll get it eventually. I’m glad for that. It’s polite.

I also did something really silly. I went to eHarmony and started another profile. I haven’t joined and I still might not. For one thing, I don’t have the money and I’m not sure what my next job will be yet. I just wanted to. I checked the site to see if there was another question and answer in the advice section. It hasn’t been updated in a couple of months. They don’t update that section regularly. I like to read it, though. I got 5 matches when I ran the search engine. Within 15 minutes, one of them had already put me on hold. 3 of them closed on me by this morning. One left. A super athletic military man. I don’t want to continue to be nomadic, moving all over the place. The whole reason I came home again was so I could settle in, put down real roots and stay. I am beginning to remember why I felt like I couldn’t continue and closed my account. No, this was better. Most of the time I would send a message to try and start communication and they would ignore me, not even bothering to close and give any reason. You can choose a reason that the person can read when you close. Things like "I am pursuing another relationship.", "I am not ready to take the next step", "there is too much going on in my life right now". But most of them would just ignore me and I’d wait a certain amount of time and then I’d close and give the reason, "this match never responded to my request to communicate". I found that very rude. At least have the courage to close the match when you know you are not interested. It’s shows respect. We all deserve it. I just closed my match with the soldier. I can’t communicate with anyone unless I really become a member, anyway. Maybe I’ll have it take me out of the search pool (they will do one automatic search for you every day) until I really decide whether to join or to close my account again.

A Plethora of Possibilities!

Today was the community college interview. Lots of other things have been happening, too. While I was at work yesterday morning another community college called and wanted me to make an interview appointment. I was stunned. I have tried to return the call, but have only been able to get voice mail. I left a message yesterday and have tried to call today. After I came home today and finished lunch, a woman at my church called me about a community organization that she teaches for. They are looking for a part-time teacher. OK, God, I guess you must be doing something. I’m totally amazed at the embarrassment of riches. Well, OK, possible riches. But this has just not been the way things have gone at all in my job search since September '03.

The interview went fairly well, although I was a bit of a nervous wreck before I left the house. I called a good friend and we prayed together over the phone. That made all the difference. I was finally ready to go. Two people interviewed me together. They were friendly and pleasant which was helpful. One question stumped me, and I should have an answer prepared for it. "What do you most need to improve on in your teaching?" I haven’t been in the classroom in almost a year, so I haven’t been exercising those skills or reflecting on any recent experiences. I just couldn’t think of an answer. I was silent and thinking for 30 seconds or so, which felt like 10 minutes. The other questions went much better. I have given up trying to guess what the result will be. Past experience has shown that it can go either way no matter how I feel it went. I’m leaving it in God’s hands and not agonizing and analyzing. They said that they want to have the final decision on Monday, so it shouldn’t drag on.

Back to my present job, the floor set was busy but it wasn’t hard. They gave the new people simple jobs. I folded polo shirts for about 3 hours. Well, I did hang a few shirts that had been previously folded. That was only about 10 shirts, though. The rest of the time I folded, and folded and folded. I’m really glad I didn’t have to stay till midnight; that’s how long most everyone was staying. I told them that I couldn’t stay that late because I had a job interview today and I had to be alert and well prepared. I finished at 9:40 PM and was asleep by midnight.

Monday, Monday

Wow, I’ve been busy. Today, out of the blue, a community college that I’d applied to called me. They wanted to set up an interview for next semester to teach in their ESL program. I’ll go there on Wednesday. I was so nervous and kind of frustrated when they called. Such a strange reaction when I should be glad and excited. I was disappointed because the school is a little bit far away and I’m not sure how the commute would be. I also was really nervous. The last school interviews that I’ve had haven’t had good results. I know in the end, I have nothing to loose. God is with me and He has a plan. This will either open up a new door for work or I’ll get good interview practice and be prepared to shine and get an even better job when I interview in the future. I guess it is just a basic fear of rejection. I hoped I would be in a reliable teaching job by now, and it hasn’t happened. I have had lots of ignored applications and unsuccessful interviews. It wears on your confidence, bit by bit. But my confidence should not be in myself. I am not building a life on my own strength for my own glory. God lives in me and He is helping me, even when I can’t see or feel it. God gives me strength and ability to do what he wants me to do.

I also got a call from Lane Bryant and they are going to be setting the store (totally reorganizing and putting a whole lot of new stuff out) tomorrow. My supervisor asked me if I’d be available to work in the evening on the store set as well as the morning hours I was already scheduled for. I said yes. With all these last minute things adding up this week, I spent the day organizing myself. I did laundry, went to the bank, mailed a bill, and took back and overdue library book (oops, thought that I had more time on that one). It feels good to have all those little things done that I need to be prepared for the week. I even cleaned out my purse and put every work shift and appointment in my calendar that had been written on scraps of paper and stuffed into my purse.

I didn’t do well on my bible study this week. I ended up doing 2/3 of it today. It took a long time and I don’t like doing it that way. It’s like cramming for an exam. But it was great because after that I wasn’t nervous anymore about the interview. My mind was focussed on God and how faithful He is to all of His promises.

Let the Madness Begin!

Our store opened at 6:00 AM today. I saw adds on TV all last week for a store offering a wake-up call service so that you could be make it to the store for the special early bargains. You could choose between an Elvis impersonator, a child-diva singing, "Wake Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuup!" (to the tune of "And I...... will always love you!"), a rooster crowing, Ice-T barking, "Get up. Don't play with me!" or one of many other types of get-out-of-bed messages. It's just all too much. I don't understand. I know it is ridiculous, since I work at the mall now. I actually do enjoy shopping. I suffer from materialism like everyone else. But this just seems crazy to me. I am just grateful that I didn't have to be at the store until 11:00 AM. Some people wheeled in shopping carts to the store because they couldn't carry all their bags. By the end of the day some shoppers' eyes were glazed over. The last hour of my shift my eyes were glazed over. How did Christmas become this monster? It just seems so unnecessary and manipulative. The ads and the marketers tell us all what to do and the stores do everything they can to squeeze the last drop out of everyone? It's not about celebration or Christmas; but it is nicely wrapped in warm feelings, nostalgia, and love for our families and our fellow men.

OK, I'll get off my soapbox now. None of these things are news to anyone. Many people have been complaining for years. I just had to put my two cents in with them. It's in my face more than usual this year.

Pumpkin Pie

Today we did the shopping and started preparing some things for Thanksgiving. We have to drive to Grandpa's house tomorrow, so we are doing everything we can ahead to make things easier on Thanksgiving Day. I baked two pumpkin pies with frozen piecrusts. I hate making pie crust. I don’t like baking in general. But piecrusts I particularly dislike because the dough is so hard to work with. As a teenager, I tried to get good at it. I usually ended up throwing a fit in frustration. Mom actually forbid me to make pie crust in the house. When I was in Korea I had to make a homemade crust for the pumpkin pie because you can’t buy any premade piecrust. People there don’t bake much at home because it’s not really a technique that is used in Korean cooking. I didn’t throw a fit, so I guess I’ve matured a little over the years. It was tough, though, and not flaky at all. With frozen piecrusts, baking a pie is fun. I love eating pie. Mom has a new recipe for pumpkin pie that uses a little bit of dark rum. Pumpkin pie is one of my top 3 holiday foods. The other two are turkey stuffing (cooked in the bird, of course) and cranberry sauce.

I like cooking, but not baking. I don’t like being bound by a recipe. I’m an improvisational cook and usually only use a recipe when trying something unfamiliar- new technique, unusual seasonings, or unfamiliar ingredients. Baking requires a more exact style or it doesn’t rise, is hard as a rock, or tastes like sawdust.

Over the River and Through the Woods... A Thanksgiving Carol

Thanksgiving is coming. I talked to my sister on the phone today. It was nice to chat with her. She was in a good mood, which is surprising because it was in the morning. She usually keeps vampire hours and is not awake in the morning. When she is, it’s usually not pretty. She has worked second or third shift since she started working. Today she sent me a new photo of her with Kevin to put up in the photo album. She hated the picture that I had of her before.

I love the holidays. I love Thanksgiving. This year we are going to go to my Grandfather’s house. I think he will like having the holiday at home. It is amazing that he doesn’t get sad when he goes back to the house. He has a good time and when he gets tired, usually around dinnertime or shortly after, he asks to go back to the assisted living place. Throughout this year, when his health started to decline, he has shown remarkable resilience and determination. I never knew he was that strong. He came close to death. It was a long road back to a stable condition, with lots of relapses along the way. He never gave up. He is determined to do what he can to keep up his strength so that he can walk for as long as he can. Walking with a walker is better to him than always depending on the wheelchair. He is 91 years old and not finished living yet.

I personally don’t know how hard I would fight to live at that age. I want to live as long as I’m healthy. The only thing that scares me about aging is being ill for a long time. Living with failing health takes so much courage. When I was working as a personal care assistant, I took care of an invalid couple. They were both bed/chair ridden. They were very ill and incapacitated, but also very much alive. They met at a dance; he was a musician in the band. His real job was construction and he built much of their furniture. Together they raised 5 children who were now helping to take care of them. Listening to the old dance music on the radio show each Saturday morning still made them laugh heartily. He reached over and held her hand across the empty chasm between their beds. She took great joy in planning the holiday baking. We would do all the work, but she was in the kitchen directing everything and going through her recipes from 50 years ago. When she had been in the kitchen too long, her husband would call in from the living room or the bedroom. Where are you? Aren’t you going to come to take a nap? It was hard to get around their small bedroom with 2 hospital beds, a hoyer lift for transferring them in or out of bed, dresser, TV, and side tables full of medical supplies. But when they had been in separate bedrooms, they were miserable. It was humbling to see such grace, love, and courage.

Apple Cup Victory

It was busy and very stressful. I made mistakes at the register, I got bogged down trying to keep up with the clothes that needed to be hung/folded and put back. I was slow because I had a hard time knowing where everything went. Some known shoplifters came into the store and we were very busy at the time. Things are not going to get easier as the holiday season ramps into top gear. I will improve, though. This was just my second selling shift. The hardest thing is remembering everything under the pressure of impatient customers and multitasking.

This may cure me of shopping, however. That would not be a bad thing. In fact, it could be great!

What other paying job can I look for that I could get quickly?

I came home and had warm, delicious spaghetti and red wine for dinner. Comfort food, oh yeah! I am tired, really tired.

Dad was at the Apple Cup today. Go Cougs!! As I said a while ago, almost all of my family that has been to college went to WSU, starting with my grandparents. I was a little rebel, I went to WWU in Bellingham because they had a good music program and a good education department. (Really, it wasn’t a big deal. There was no pressure my family about where I went to college.) I don’t like sports, but I always root for the Cougars. We haven’t beaten the Huskies in the Apple Cup for 6 years! I’m so glad that Dad went to the game in Pullman today. It was a real nailbiter. There were about 5 minutes left when I got home from work. It came right down to the wire because the Huskies had a big rally in the second half. We taped the game so Dad can watch it again, along with the post-game show. At the end of the post-game show they showed the funniest little animated featurette with a song to the tune of "This Land is Your Land". You have to know the schools to get the humor. WSU started as a land-grant agricultural college. They are stereotyped as the country bumpkins. UW is in Seattle and they are stereotyped as snobby, urban, rich brats. The song was just an exchange of taunts between the schools, highlighting the stereotypes and bringing up recent scandals on each side. Thing like "We study law, you study methane (animated cow farts on the screen)". I have to say, though, the UW has many more scandals around its athletics than WSU does. Yes, I’m an honorary Cougar. I stick up for them. Congratulations to the whole Cougar football team. Well done! Especially the freshmen, 2nd string quarterback who helped lead the team to victory today.

Tillamook Head 

Astoria Victorian