Monday, Monday

Wow, I’ve been busy. Today, out of the blue, a community college that I’d applied to called me. They wanted to set up an interview for next semester to teach in their ESL program. I’ll go there on Wednesday. I was so nervous and kind of frustrated when they called. Such a strange reaction when I should be glad and excited. I was disappointed because the school is a little bit far away and I’m not sure how the commute would be. I also was really nervous. The last school interviews that I’ve had haven’t had good results. I know in the end, I have nothing to loose. God is with me and He has a plan. This will either open up a new door for work or I’ll get good interview practice and be prepared to shine and get an even better job when I interview in the future. I guess it is just a basic fear of rejection. I hoped I would be in a reliable teaching job by now, and it hasn’t happened. I have had lots of ignored applications and unsuccessful interviews. It wears on your confidence, bit by bit. But my confidence should not be in myself. I am not building a life on my own strength for my own glory. God lives in me and He is helping me, even when I can’t see or feel it. God gives me strength and ability to do what he wants me to do.

I also got a call from Lane Bryant and they are going to be setting the store (totally reorganizing and putting a whole lot of new stuff out) tomorrow. My supervisor asked me if I’d be available to work in the evening on the store set as well as the morning hours I was already scheduled for. I said yes. With all these last minute things adding up this week, I spent the day organizing myself. I did laundry, went to the bank, mailed a bill, and took back and overdue library book (oops, thought that I had more time on that one). It feels good to have all those little things done that I need to be prepared for the week. I even cleaned out my purse and put every work shift and appointment in my calendar that had been written on scraps of paper and stuffed into my purse.

I didn’t do well on my bible study this week. I ended up doing 2/3 of it today. It took a long time and I don’t like doing it that way. It’s like cramming for an exam. But it was great because after that I wasn’t nervous anymore about the interview. My mind was focussed on God and how faithful He is to all of His promises.